Gregory Gordon, MD, Pediatrician
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Advice from Dr. Gordon

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Advice from a Mother Of 7

Gordonian Wisdom
wisdom3

1.) Fathers worry about their daughter’s belly buttons and their son’s circumcisions.

2.) Grandmothers love to feed babies and remember potty training at 12 months.

3.) Your first son is your lawyer. He will try to talk his way out of problems. Your second son is your linebacker. He will tackle his way into problems.

4.) Everyone should have (if possible) at least two children, so they don’t blame themselves for all of their first child’s weird traits.

5.) Boys will go to the doctor as long a their mother brings them. The next time they will go is when their wife makes them go.

6.) Your children will always be their sickest when your husband is out of town.

7.) The best exercise plan is do what your child does. Don’t sit in the waiting room, run around a chair.

8.) The reason 2 years old are so cute is because nobody would love them if they weren’t. (wisdom borrowed from my father)

9.) When choosing a Halloween costume, boys pick out a weapon and then will take what ever costume goes with the weapon.

10.) The first night your new baby sleeps through the night one of your other kids will wake you up.

11.) With their first child, parents come to the 4 month visit with the stage one fruits and vegetables alphabetized and organized in their cabinets. They are just waiting for the doctor to say “Go”. With their second child, parents say, “Already, he is too young”.

12.) Everything is cuter when you are well rested.

13.) The best eyelashes are wasted on boys.

14.) People who think "boys and girls are just the same" never had a 18 month old boy.

  

15.) Four year old boys are the definition of ADHD.

16.) Your children will begin to misbehave in public once you have a website that gives discipline advice.

17.) Don’t expect your son to hear any better than his father.

18.) Parenthood is God's way of humbling us.

19.) Parents ask less questions at doctor’s appointments for their second child, but they always include one question about their first child.

20.) If fathers changed all of the diapers in the world there would be more wipes but less diapers in landfills.

21.) The day your first child crawls is a reason for cheers. The day your second child crawls is a reason for tears.

22.) Pregnancy lasts 9 months because it takes 9 months to mentally get ready for a baby.

23.) Forget lost socks, where do the pacifiers go?

24.) The greatest challenge of parenting is to enjoy the stage your child is in. It is okay to look forward to the future, but don’t wish the present away.

25.) You know your 2 month old is healthy if they don’t have a neck.

26.) Nothing good ever happens when your doctor puts on gloves.

27.) With first children, we parents make mistakes because we try too hard. With second children, parents never make the same mistakes - we make different ones.

28.) Fussy babies never cry at doctors appointments.

29.) Everything in moderation, except humor.

30.) Most parents know their child will get sick after starting daycare. Few parents realize how sick they will get from their daycare child. When was the last time you wanted to hold and kiss someone with 103 degree fever?

31.) I don’t expect all of my patients to love me, I just want them to like me more than their dentist.

32.) The first morning a baby sleeps through the night, all parents wake up startled and certain their baby has either died or been kidnapped.

33.) Children get louder as they get older.

34.) Mothers pray for their sons to slow down and stop being so active. But when the boys do slow down, their mothers bring them to me to figure out what is wrong.

Updated November 2011 by
Dr. Gordon, Orlando Pediatrician		  

 

gregorygordonmd.com is intended to help parents understand the needs and behaviors of children. The information presented in the site is the opinion of Gregory Gordon, M.D. and does not reflect the opinion of his partners. The advice in this site does not apply to all children. Always consult your healthcare provider for your individual needs.

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